


Reality

by Jennilah



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angst, Canon Compliant, Crying, Cuddling & Snuggling, Djinni & Genies, Djinnverse (Supernatural), Domestic, Domestic Castiel/Dean Winchester, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fights, Implied Sexual Content, M/M, Pining Castiel, Protective Sam Winchester, Sleepy Cuddles, Temporarily Unrequited Love, Tumblr Prompt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-09-17
Updated: 2015-09-17
Packaged: 2018-04-21 04:53:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 11,225
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4815752
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jennilah/pseuds/Jennilah
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sam and Dean go on a search for their friend after they realize he's been missing for two months. When they find Cas in a deep sleep due to a djinn's poison, Sam slips into his subconscious to help get him out.<br/>Unfortunately saving him comes with a few ramifications that nobody knows how to handle.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Based on the tumblr post, found [here.](http://yamiaki96fanfic.tumblr.com/post/103689121558/dont-imagine-cas-being-kidnapped-by-a-djinn)
> 
> I know a few people adapted that post into a full fic, but I wanted to put my own spin on it as well. Hope you enjoy!
> 
> Takes place in a generic time post-Season 5.
> 
> [My tumblr](http://jennilah.tumblr.com/)

It’s been two months since they’ve last seen Cas.

The angel often carries out his own business for extended periods of time, all while Sam and Dean are off hunting on their own. This was nothing out of the ordinary, nothing that the brothers noticed.

It’s been one month since they’ve last called Cas’ cell phone.

He sometimes forgets to charge it, and as far as Sam and Dean could logically assume- there was no service in Heaven. They thought nothing of it.

It’s been two weeks since their first text to him.

One and a half since their second and third.

Five days since their last.

One day since Sam and Dean got on the road to search for his phone’s GPS location.

The hunters just finished up a poltergeist job in South Carolina, and Dean took the initiative to make their next immediate mission finding their MIA friend.

The tracker let them know that the last known location of Cas’ phone was near an abandoned mine shaft in Tennessee, before it lost reception. It would be about a ten-hour drive overnight, with nap, bathroom, and food breaks factored in. They wasted no time getting on the road.

They arrived at the place of interest mid-day the next day, a field overgrown with tall grass and flowers, untouched by man in at least a decade. Sam brought a small duffel bag filled with various necessities, whatever he could manage to bring with him.

“Wonder what Cas was doing here,” Dean wondered, scoping out the mine entrance. It was wedged into a hill face and seemed huddled behind weeds, almost as if someone put them there on purpose.

“No idea,” Sam responded, stepping forward to unlatch the old wooden door. “One way to find out.”

“Yeah, well, just hoping he’s alive to tell the tale,” Dean mumbled, stepping down into the mine shaft and flicking on his flashlight, surveying the mouth of it. The cavernous hallway was damp enough for moss to grow in the walls, which is lined by a string of lights that must not have been turned on in years.

Sam hummed and followed after him. “I’m sure he was just searching for something,” he said, in an attempt to be reassuring.

“If he was looking for something, he wouldn’t take two months to do it.”

Sam shrugged, watching his footing on the wet rocks below him. “I’m sure he’s fine. Only another angels can kill him, and they’re not ones to hide their victims underground,” he pointed out, realizing quickly that wasn’t going to make his brother feel any better. That only means that this is, somehow, a unique case.

Dean sighed in acknowledgement and trudged onward, keeping quiet for the time being.

The hike down the shafts seemed never-ending, traveling on and on for at least an hour, if they were keeping track at all.

Sam stopped Dean with a tug on his shoulder, pointing out fresh footprints that have disturbed the moss on the ground.  They were getting close to whatever lay ahead.

Dean equipped himself with Ruby’s knife, Sam with a shotgun. They listened closely for a minute for any movement further down the mine, only to hear the gentle drip of water from the stalactites. They pressed on.

It didn’t take much longer for them to find their friend.

“Cas!” Dean called out, as quietly as he could, and ran towards him. Cas was tied up against some support beams, color drained from his face.

Sam was more hesitant to join them, monitoring the area to make sure they were alone. Deeming the coast clear, he hurried over to take a look at the damage with Dean.

That is Cas alright, and Sam reached towards him to lay his fingers across his jugular.

“There’s a pulse, he’s alive,” Sam reported. He shone his flashlight further down the shaft at other bodies, thrown in a pile. “Can’t say the same for them.”

“Djinn. This is the work of a djinn,” Dean concluded, hitch in his voice. “Over there are the other victims… Cas must still be alive because he _can’t_ die…”

“So the djinn is keeping him here to feed off of _forever,”_ Sam added in agreement. “There’d be no need for the others if he’s got a lifetime supply right here.”

Dean’s jaw visibly tightened in the flashlight glow. “We gotta bring him back. Did you bring the leftover African Dream Root?” he asked, motioning to Sam’s duffel.

“I should have thrown some in along with other stuff,” Sam said, rummaging through his bag. A tense minute of searching later, he pulled out a small bag filled with the ingredient. “Got it. I also brought an assortment of blood since we didn’t know what the occasion would entitle, including lamb’s.”

“Thank God,” Dean breathed. “Alright, you go under and I’ll guard you guys. And I’ll kill that son of a bitch if it dare shows its ugly tattooed face.”

Sam nodded. As Dean went digging for the required blood vial, he went straight to work preparing the mixture with a half-empty water bottle they brought with them. He tugged out one of Cas’ hairs, swallowing hard when it fell out far too easily. Cas might be immortal, but the djinn’s poison was taking a toll on his vessel’s body regardless.

“Down the hatch,” Sam said, throwing back the liquid like a shot glass.

“Good luck,” Dean said.

The last thing Sam saw before falling asleep was his brother aggressively reloading the shotgun.


	2. Chapter 2

The transition from reality to dream was disorienting.

Is he in heaven?

 _No it… doesn’t quite seem like_ heaven _._

Sam blinked a few times and stood, just now realizing he was sitting. On a couch. Where is he?

He took a look around him. He was standing in a house, that’s for sure. But whose?

His?

He thought back to when Dean was stuck in his own djinn dream, and what he described of it afterwards.

Wherever he was, Cas imagined it up for him. He _must_ have. That’s how these things work, right?

 _Ok,_ Sam thought, determined to _logic_ his way through this. _This must be_ my _house… He always said he wished nothing more than for us to be able to have normal lives._

He took a few tentative steps around his, or what he assumed was his, house, looking for some kind of phone or an address book. He looked in every drawer and cabinet...

He ventured into his bedroom, digging through his side tables that Cas so generously provided him with. Nothing.

Perhaps he should check the room next door that seemed to be some kind of offi-

Sam jumped at the buzz in his pocket. “My phone! Pocket! Duh!” he exclaimed to himself, with a little exasperated sigh. _It’s always the last place you think to look… dummy._

He promptly checked the message, plainly displayed on his screen.

_[Are you still coming over for dinner? - - Cas 5:15 PM]_

Sam sighed in relief. Maybe he won’t have to go on a wild goose chase for the angel after all. He typed out a response quickly, still standing awkwardly in the middle of his bedroom- or maybe it’s his guest room?

_[Of course - - Sam 5:16 PM]_

_[Hey can you remind me your address? Accidentally lost it - - Sam 5:16 PM]_

Sam smiled to himself for a job well done when Cas replied with his address with no further questioning.

 _Now, hopefully this phone has a GPS on it…_ he thought, realizing he had no context of where he is or where Cas is in relation to him.

Luckily it does, and he finds his car keys and corresponding vehicle in his driveway. It was a small, practical thing. He figured Dean must have the Impala.

Speaking of Dean, where is he? He doesn’t seem to live with Sam, so maybe he’s off at his own place now?

And… he’s going to _Cas’_ place now, right?

 _That’s odd,_ Sam thought, more and more questions plaguing his thoughts. He didn’t peg Cas as the kind of guy who would want a home. Himself and Dean, yes, but somehow he never imagined Cas in the mix of this sort of life. He just always kind of assumed that Cas considered Heaven his home.

 _Or maybe we’re going to Dean’s place?_ He thought. _No, then surely Cas would have worded that text like ‘Are you still going to Dean’s for dinner?’ or something, right?_

Sam’s mind was racing a mile a minute, but luckily his car wasn’t. While his thoughts were muddled by other things, he managed to get himself and his ride over to the mystery destination in one piece. Turns out, whoever-it-is only lives five minutes away.

He noticed the Impala in the driveway and pulled up next to it. It’ll be weird meeting dream-Dean. He wondered if he was, well, _normal_. He recalled Dean telling him about his djinn dream again, and about how they weren’t as close in his fantasy world. But... this is _Cas’_ dream. Their relationships all depend on _his_ deepest wishes.

He turned off the ignition and stepped out of the car, not wanting to look suspicious, just sitting in the driveway like that.

He looked around, admiring the freshly cut grass and trimmed hedges, and the neat little garden of vegetables right next to the neat little garden of flowers.

Looking across the street he noticed every house was a cheerful little thing, colorful and kept clean. It was a nice neighborhood, a life they definitely could have had. A life they _should_ have had.

Realizing he was taking too long dawdling in his own thoughts again, he climbed up the front steps and rang the doorbell.

Rocking back and forth from his heels to his toes, hands shoved awkwardly into his pants pockets, Sam waited patiently for someone to answer the door.

He heard the footsteps of someone rushing to let him in, and sure enough, Dean swung the door open with a little surprised look. He was wearing just a simple t-shirt and jeans, and looked like he was just in the middle of something.

“Hey! You’re early,” Dream-Dean greeted with a smile. “You know you can just come right in, right?” he asked with a questioning scrunch of his eyebrows.

“Right, uh, I… forgot my key,” Sam bluffed, hands getting clammier in his pocket as he made everything up as he went along, _praying_ Dean doesn’t think anything is up with him.

“Door wasn’t locked,” Dean chuckled, and Sam sighed in relief. _I must actually have a spare key, then._

“Heh, I’m tired. Didn’t even think to check,” Sam bluffed, following Dean as he led the two of them into the house.

Sam couldn’t help but take a look around, desperately still wondering if this was Dean or Cas’ house, but tried not to look like it was his first time visiting.

He admired the little things, like the little post-it reminders on the fridge, the pictures hanging on the walls, and the paperwork littering the dining room table. The table is seated right next to a large window overlooking their front lawn, which let the sun shine in so bright that not a single light in the room had to be on.

This house was certainly more welcoming and warm than his own, which- as far as he noticed while he was running around looking for an address book- seemed orderly and minimalist.

There were little decorations hung all around in addition to the photos. Little glass things that hung from the ceiling that sprinkled the walls with rainbow when the sun hit it at _just_ the right angle, little seasonal window stickers displayed on the window above the kitchen sink- tiny bees and flowers for the spring time, he assumed.

It both warmed his heart, and broke it.

This was a house that was being _lived_ in. It was owned by someone who just _loved_ making this place feel like a proper home.

He prayed to God that it wasn’t Cas’ home.

Dean leaned into the fridge and pulled out two beers, handing one over to Sam. “How’s school going?” he asked, popping the top off of his bottle.

“School?” Sam questioned, moving the unopened drink around in his hands nervously.

“…Yes? Is it everything you’ve ever dreamed of and more?”

“Uh, yeah, it’s nice,” Sam said, clearing his throat. “My professors are… cool.”

“Well that’s good,” Dean said after taking a sip of his beer. He smiled and patted Sam on the shoulder, “M’proud of you. We both are. I know you hesitated a bit before applying, but now you’re going out and making up for lost time and we couldn’t be happier.”

“Heh, yeah,” Sam replied, avoiding Dean’s eyes and swallowing the guilt in his voice. “So uh, where’s Cas anyway?” he asked, assuming he’s person #2 in “ _we”._

“Last time I checked he was tending to our herb garden,” Dean said, leaning back on the counter.

“Herb garden?”

“Yeah, we started one last week out in the back,” Dean gestured towards the back door. “Fresh vegetables and herbs. Hah. Never thought I’d ever see the day where I had either of them.”

Sam nodded in agreement. He drew his lips into a thin line, knowing none of the pieces to this puzzle are fitting together yet. _So are they roommates?_

“But hey, Cas insisted. And hell, I like fresh ingredients too so I wasn’t gonna fight him. And what do you know! Carrots are actually pretty good with some butter and garlic,” Dean chuckled. “ _Don’t_ you dare say ‘I told you so.’”

“I told you so,” Sam said, bracing for the playful punch to his shoulder. _At least I’m playing along well…_

“Oh, hello Sam,” came an unmistakable voice from the back door. Sam held his breath, watching Cas take off a pair of gardening gloves and leave them on a little table outside, closing the screen door behind him. He was also wearing jeans and a light sweater. Sam never imagined him wearing anything different than the usual trench coat get-up. “You’re here early.”

“Yeah, I… got bored. Felt like hanging out a bit before dinner,” Sam lied.

“Well you know you’re always welcome to stop by,” Cas said, with a smile that was hiding something. He was never a good liar. Dean didn’t seem to notice, but that doesn’t matter. Dean is nothing but Cas’ dream projection of him, he doesn’t have to know he’s lying.

“So uh, how have you guys been?” Sam asked, finally deciding to open up his beer that has been neglected in his hands. He maneuvered his way to the dining room table and sat down in one of the chairs, politely clearing a spot for his drink out of the mess of papers.

“We’ve been well,” Cas said as he sat adjacent to him, taking the initiative to tidy up the papers into a nice little pile.

“Ah, that’s right! I didn’t tell you yet,” Dean exclaimed, turning to Sam. “I got a promotion at the office yesterday!”

“Oh, congrats,” Sam said, forcing a smile the best he could.

“It couldn’t have come at a better time, right?” Dean said, tapping Cas’ pile of papers with a smile as wide as it can go.

“Right.” Sam agreed, not quite sure what he was agreeing to.

“Dean, weren’t you going to mow the back yard? Before dinner?” Cas said politely, letting his hands fall to his lap.

“Ah shit, you’re right. I’ll get right on it,” Dean said, heading right over to the back door to put on his shoes. “I’ll be done in time to help prep,” and with that, he disappeared outside.

Sam sighed, happy to be alone with Cas to explain the situation, but not sure how to break the news to him. Perhaps he should start slow-

“I know why you’re here,” Cas said quietly.

Sam felt his heart sink. “You do?”

“Yes. I knew it was _you_ from your text. The Sam here visits so often, he memorized the address. I know… none of this is real.”

“How long did you know..?”

Cas hesitated, staring down at his lap, playing with something in his hands. “Since the moment I first got here.”

Sam’s eyebrows pulled together, scooting his seat a little closer. “Then why haven’t you come back? You know how to, right?”

Cas’ jaw clenched. “Yes, I know how to. I didn’t… I…”

Sam watched him with sad but understanding eyes, speaking softly. “Were you planning on _ever_ coming back?”

“I was, in the beginning. And I just… let time pass… and it got harder and harder to see myself leaving.”

Sam nodded slowly. “Yeah, I can see how. This place is nice… are you and Dean roommates?”

Cas looked up at him, staring right through him for a few moments. “Not exactly, no…”

“I don’t understand,” Sam said quietly, a pit forming in his stomach from the look Cas was giving him.

“Sam… Dean and I,” Cas began, voice breaking off. He silently dragged his hands out from under the table, showing Sam the distinct gold band of a wedding ring.

Sam pieced together the clues in his mind, scolding himself. He should have known. He should have _known._ He let his jaw drop just a little, standing to examine the pictures hung up on the walls. Cas followed closely behind. They began with the biggest one, proudly presented near the front door.

He didn’t need any of these photos explained, the stories told themselves.

One ornately framed photo of Cas and Dean standing side by side, hands clasped together. Wedding arch above their heads.

They’re both wearing white. Cas’ suit is trimmed with gold, Dean’s with silver.

Sam has never seen Cas with such a big smile.

There’s another framed photo right beneath it, what is supposed to be the typical newlyweds plus groomsmen and bridesmaids group photo. There are only three people- Dean, Cas, and Sam right between them.

He feels like he could throw up.

They walked along the walls, looking briefly at each one. Besides the wedding photos, the rest are more candid.

Photos of Cas and Dean in front of the house. It must be the day they moved in, and Sam must be the photographer.

A picture of Cas smiling gently back at the camera, hands working flowers into the soil. The first day they started their garden.

A group selfie with the three of them together, just simply outside where the weather seems nice. They seem happy.

A picture of Dean looking nervous outside of an office building, with two awkward little thumbs up. His first day at his new job.

“The wedding happened before I started dreaming… it was two years ago, apparently. I… like looking at the photo album to imagine how it went,” Cas said, just above a whisper. “I came in around two months ago, when we were already long settled into this house and you just applied for law school.”

Sam tore himself away and returned to his seat at the dining room table, he couldn’t bear to look at the photos anymore. He reached towards his beer where he left it, eyes drifting towards the paperwork that he only just barely acknowledged the whole time.

A knot caught right in his throat, reading the headline of the top page.

_“REFERENCE LETTER FOR FOSTER / ADOPTIVE APPLICANT”_

“That was supposed to be for you to fill out,” Cas explained quietly. “Dream-you was visiting tonight to have celebratory dinner with us because of Dean’s promotion, and… we were going to let you take that home with you. They uh… require a reference. A friend or a family member that they can contact and ask questions about our home life and such…”

“Yeah, I… I know,” Sam interrupted, not wanting to force him to continue explaining. The way Cas was talking… it seemed pained. Like he knows that his dream life is about to come to a screeching halt. No more happy marriage, no more home, no more future fatherhood… “So what…. Is this? An alternate universe?” he asked carefully.

“No… this world… it takes place after you two stopped the Apocalypse. You both decided to pick up real jobs and try to live normal lives. You two still hunt on occasion, but the big stuff is left for the other hunters to deal with,” Cas sighed.

“And… this is your deepest desire? You and Dean?” Sam asked, he needed the clarification.

Cas gave a little nod. “I dream about the two of you, living the lives you were meant to have… Dean has a job and a home that he can take care of. You are going back to school to get that degree you wanted so many years ago… And I get little gardens to tend, a house to decorate, and requited love…”

Sam’s heart was breaking for him. “I had no idea…”

“I was sure that what I have been feeling was love the longer I spent with the two of you. Human emotions are… complicated.”

“So you were planning on staying here forever, weren’t you…” Sam addressed the looming cloud above them.

“I don’t know… I… considered it, yes. You two are my best friends, but lately I’ve been feeling like…” Cas hesitated, twirling his wedding ring around in his fingers again. “Like I’m just a tool. A Deus Ex Machina that just shows up to help on hunts, and then I am no longer needed around.”

“Cas, that isn’t true,” Sam said, shocked that he could think that. “You’re our best friend, and we care about you.”

Cas only looked at him, unconvinced. Perhaps he is right, perhaps they _do_ call him most often when they need help… but they _do_ care about him, too. They love him. Perhaps not in the way Cas wishes, but they could never replace him with just anyone.

“Look, we noticed you were missing and we looked all over for you. Tracked your phone and everything, just to make sure you were ok,” Sam insisted.

Cas nodded lifelessly.

“We miss you. We want you back, man,” Sam persisted. “We’ll call you more often, just to kick back and chill.”

“But it won’t be the same.”

“No it won’t. But it will be _real._ Trust me, Cas, it will only feel worse the longer you spend here…” Sam said, dropping the truth.

Cas nodded emptily again.

“You know what you have to do to get out of here, right?” Sam asked gently.

“I know,” Cas said flatly, standing and stepping over to another room. Sam waited where he sat, sure that his friend would come back soon.

And he did, wielding an angel blade carefully between two trembling hands. “I know I have to be the one to do it, I just…”

“It’s ok… take your time. I’ll understand,” Sam said, standing to meet him halfway. He just hoped Cas wouldn’t take _too_ long to do it.

The two of them turned towards the back door as they heard it open. Dean stepped inside with a solemn, knowing look. “So you found out,” he said.

“I always knew,” Cas murmured, placing the blade on the table.

Sam could feel his body tingling, fading away. “I’m waking…” he whispered, mostly to himself. He lost track of the time, he forgot to pay attention to it. He must have spent at least an hour in the dream... perhaps less in real life? More? He wasn't sure how time worked here... 

Dean stepped towards Cas, and Sam was afraid for a moment that he would fight him, but instead he held him close in a tight hug, a hand rubbing up and down his back. All while Sam felt himself flickering in and out of existence.

“Will you stay?” Dean asked, head resting on Cas’ shoulder. “Raise a child with me?”

Sam could feel the room starting to get lighter around him as he stirred from sleep, and tried desperately to see or hear the last of that interaction.

But all he could make out was a tear that dragged down Cas’ face.

And then he woke.


	3. Chapter 3

Sam woke with a sputter and cough, a jarring transition yet again. He let his eyes adjust to the room, looking around desperately for Dean.

He didn’t have to look far, his brother was right next to him, keeping an eye on Cas’ sleeping form. It was almost as if he didn’t move the whole time.

But he must have at some point, made apparent by the new cuts and bruises littering his skin and the dead Djinn body on the floor in the distance.

“You fought?” Sam mumbled, still disoriented.

Dean jumped at the voice. He was so fixated on watching Cas sleep that he didn’t even notice Sam awake. “Yeah… yeah. I killed him though. He was fast, but not faster than my shotty. After I wounded him, I killed him with the lamb’s blood on silver…” he murmured.

“Nice job,” Sam said, stretching and leaning over to take a look at Cas. He wasn’t awake yet, but he was stirring. It almost looked like there were fresh tear streaks down his dirt-covered cheeks.

“How’d it go in there?” Dean prodded. “What was he dreaming?”

“I, I don’t know. I told him we were looking for him, and now it’s on him to bring himself back,” Sam answered. “I… you know how these things work. He was dreaming of a nice, perfect life… I’m sure he’ll tell you more if he wants to,” he dodged the question.

He felt it wasn’t his place to tell Dean about the dream. If Cas wants him to know, he’ll find out…

Dean sighed heavily. “Well, did he look like he was willing to come back or what? Come on.”

“Not… particularly,” Sam admitted. “I think he will come back though. I believe in him…”

One minute passed in silence.

Two minutes passed in silence.

Five minutes passed in silence.

Dean looked like he was running out of lip to chew on when Cas violently stirred from sleep, suddenly with a fit of coughing and wheezing.

Dean lurched forward to grab onto Cas’ arms, steadying him. “Woah, woah, we got you buddy. You’re here with us,” he assured. Cas stared straight at him with a wet, upset gaze. His eyes darted over to Sam, and the two of them exchanged something without words, something understanding.

“Let’s get you to your feet, we’re gonna get you somewhere safe and clean you up,” Dean continued, pulling him up to stand. Sam held out a free arm for Cas to cling to while the other carried their bag of supplies, and Dean supported him from the other side. “It’s a long way out of these mine shafts, sorry buddy.”

The three of them hiked their way out of the dark mines for far longer than it took them to get down there in the first place. Cas would fumble over his feet, and the brothers would patiently help him balance again. The whole time, none of them said a word.

Eventually they made it out, and they all breathed a sigh of relief at the fresh night air. The sun must have just gone down maybe an hour or so ago.

They hobbled their way over to the Impala, which they parked on an overgrown path outside the hills. Sam dropped their duffel bag into the trunk while Dean helped Cas into the back seat.

“Mind if you drive? You guys got to take a nap and I’m jealous,” Dean requested, although it sounded more like a _strong suggestion_.

“Sure thing,” Sam said, stepping into the driver’s seat.

Dean made himself comfortable in the passenger’s seat and looked back towards Cas, who stared back at him quietly.

“How you feeling?” Dean asked gruffly. “You haven’t said a word all this time.”

Sam watched Cas carefully from the rear-view mirror. He figured it must be so hard for him, to look into the eyes of the man he loves, who he’s been in a loving relationship with for the past two months, who he’s been trying to adopt a child with… and suddenly, he’s not that man anymore.

“M’tired,” Cas mumbled.

 “Yeah, the djinn poison will wear off in a day or two,” Dean said, voice tinged with… _frustration?_

Sam drove off and the car stayed silent for another ten minutes or so. He was sure that Dean would want to sleep, but it seems he has something else on his mind now.

“So Cas, what the hell, man? How’d you let a _djinn_ get you?” he interrogated.

Cas shuffled a little in his seat, where he has been sitting still and carefully leaned against the door this whole time. “I was hunting,” he said roughly.

“Hunting? Without us?”

“I thought I could handle it on my own. A small town… was being terrorized. I thought I could help,” Cas answered slowly.

“And what? He just… _caught_ you?”

“I didn’t know a djinn’s powers could affect me. I got… overconfident.”

“You sure as hell did. Don’t ever do that again,” Dean scolded. Sam saw Cas slump a little in the seat in the mirror. “And- And how long were you _in_ there? Come on, you _know_ what djinns are- you could have saved yourself _and_ kicked his ass and been back to business without us even _noticing_ -”

“Cut it out, Dean,” Sam interrupted. He could almost feel the hurt radiating off of Cas, and was amazed Dean didn’t seem to notice at all. “He’s tired. Let him rest.”

Dean huffed and shut up, thankfully. Within another silent fifteen minutes, they pulled up to a local motel.

Dean was out of the car first. He was still pissy from the previous conversation so he went straight to the trunk for their duffel bag, and stepped right inside to check out a room, leaving Sam behind to help Cas out of the back seat.

“He was just scared he lost you, that’s all,” Sam whispered to Cas, trying his best to comfort him. “He’s bad at feelings.”

“Sure,” Cas mumbled.

Dean came back outside with their key after a few minutes, and guided them to their room. He flipped the light switch on, and Cas and Sam squinted at the sudden brightness.

Dean dropped their bag off on a chair on the side of the room, opening it up for a bottle of water. Cas carefully lowered himself into the chair across from it.

“Here, I know you don’t gotta drink but it’ll help flush the leftover poison out of your system,” he said, untwisting the cap and handing it to Cas. “Besides, you look sickly and it’ll help anyway while you’re healing.”

He sounded rough, but Sam knew he was just worrying about his friend.

Cas nodded and took the water, apparently opting to avoid looking Dean in the eyes for the time being.

“Alright, so since I didn’t sleep in the car like I originally planned, I’m gonna hit the hay first,” Dean announced, stripping out of his jeans and shirt and flopping onto one of the beds. Cas continued to drink his water quietly.

“Would you like to take my bed tonight, Cas? I know you don’t have to sleep, but it might help you feel better…” Sam offered.

“No thank you. I’ve… had enough of dreams for a long time. I’ll just sit here,” Cas said quietly.

Sam nodded understandingly and retreated to the bathroom to brush his teeth. Once that deed was done, he sighed heavily and slipped into his own bed.


	4. Chapter 4

The coming days passed by quickly as the brothers had to move on to the next thing.

Cas was physically back to normal within a day, and Dean caught wind of a haunting in a town close by.

Sam understood Cas’ desire to leave. Every time he looks at Dean, it must be torture.

But before he left, he pulled Sam aside one night while Dean was out getting dinner for them.

“What happened in my dream stays between us,” he requested.

“Don’t worry, I’ve got your back,” Sam assured.

It wasn’t long until they saw him again.

He popped in after their hunt to heal their wounds, at Dean’s request. He did it quietly and quickly, not eager to stick around.

Sam insisted that it was overkill, but Dean pushed the whole, “Well, we have him, why not take advantage of that? Cas is cool, he’ll help out,” idea.

But Sam remembered what Cas said in the dream, about feeling used.

Dean called him in again a week later to help find the cause of death for a teenage ghost in a mystery they were solving. He did so with ease, chopping their usual hunt time for that sort of thing in half.

He called him in again a few days after, asking for details on some old Holy relic that was making a small town act strange.

He called again, and again, and again over the next two weeks.

Sam would have called him to just hang out and watch TV like he promised he would, if only Dean would give the poor guy a break once in a while.

How could he have never noticed that this is how they treat him?

They really _do_ treat him like some sort of tool, Sam realized. If he wasn’t being a demon-killing-machine for them, he was a heavenly dictionary.

One day Sam succeeded in finding a slow week where he could call up Cas and just ask him to hang out. He obliged, and popped into their motel room with a little “Hello Sam.”

Sam was sitting on the edge of one of the beds. The angel seated himself on one of the seats in the corner of the room, hands in his lap like they were when Sam found him in the dream- except this time without a wedding band to fiddle with between his fingers.

“Hey Cas, thought maybe you’d wanna watch Star Wars with us,” Sam said, gesturing to the television’s channel guide which was displaying a marathon on one of the channels.

“Oh. Thank you. Sure,” Cas agreed, emptiness in his voice.

This was something Sam noticed ever since Cas got better. Every time they talked to him, every time they saw him, he seemed _off_. He carried himself differently, slowly and not at all in a rush. He walked as if he was frail, fragile as if his bones were made of glass and any sudden movement would shatter them. He talked very little, and when he did, it was careful and quiet.

And then he would leave, as quickly as he came.

Cas was strategically picking and choosing his words, actions, and even the smallest of movements, trying so hard not to let any part of him reveal his hurt.

“Dean’s at the bar across the street, picking up some food for us. He should be here soon,” Sam explained. Cas nodded in acknowledgment.

“Hey, Mopey! Haven’t seen you in a while,” came Dean’s voice not even a minute later, rushing into the room and plopping some food in front of Sam. “Look guys, as fun as Star Wars is, I’ve got something way more fun planned. I’ll have to watch it with you guys some other time-“

Cas blinked in his general direction, still refusing eye contact. “Hello Dean. Where are you doing?”

Dean smiled some cheesy grin and pointed towards himself with his thumbs, “ _This guy_ just landed himself a lay, from over at the bar. I’m gonna be in a room a few doors down, don’t bother me.”

Sam held his breath and couldn’t help but look over at Cas, who is sitting silently- but now with clenched fists and a swallow in his throat.

“Dean, you ass, we planned this from earlier today!” Sam exclaimed, not at all happy with the disrespectful move and unintentional slap in the face his brother just gave Cas.

“Aw come on, don’t be like that. You haven’t had a problem with it before,” Dean claimed, pouting. “The movies are online in like two million places, we can have a marathon some other time,” he repeated.

Sam just resorted to giving him a disappointed stare.

“Whatever. Cas, you’re not all that bothered, right? I’m sure you have angel business to take care of anyway, you’re always eager to leave in a hurry,” Dean said, not giving him a chance to answer, one foot already out the door. “See you guys tomorrow!”

And he was gone.

And Cas stood up from his seat.

“Cas, wait-“ Sam started.

“I can’t take it… it’s _agony,_ Sam. I should never have left the dream-“

“No, no, you don’t mean that…” Sam said, stepping towards him and reaching to hold onto his shoulder.

Cas dodged the gesture, staring him right in the face with tear-swelled eyes. “But I _do_ mean it. Things haven’t been better here just because it’s _real_ , it’s just been… disappointing. All that’s happened since I’ve come back has been… interrogation, disrespect, and- and _heartbreak._ I can’t even _look_ at him, Sam. And now this… _”_

“Maybe you should tell Dean how you feel?” Sam suggested, at a loss for how to help Cas.

“I- I _can’t_. He’s straight, you and I both know that. All it would do is fracture our relationship even further.” Cas said with a hitch in his voice. “I have to be alone for a little while. I will see you again soon, Sam.”

“Cas-“

But he was already gone.

Sam sat back down with a sigh, running his hands through his hair. He picked at his dinner alone in the quiet, with the ringing of the muted television the only sound in the room.

About ten minutes later, Dean barged back in the room with a grumpy look to his face.

“What are you doing back so soon?” Sam asked.

“Ugh, date was just a hooker. As soon as we got into the room she whipped out the price list,” Dean said, dragging his feet over to his bed. “Where the hell did Cas go?”

“Oh you know, ‘ _angel_ business’,” Sam sighed.

“Ugh. What’s up with him lately anyway? He’s been acting like a wet towel ever since we saved him,” Dean complained.

“I… dunno. Maybe you should talk to him?”

“You’re right,” Dean said, pulling out his phone. “He’s really starting to _piss me off_ , too.”

Sam’s eyebrows raised. “Dude, don’t argue with him-“

“Shut up,” Dean said, calling up Cas’ number. He heard the other end pick up and immediately started making demands. “Hey Cas- get your ass back over here, I wanna talk to yo-“

And there he was.

“What do you want, Dean,” Cas asked, turning Sam and Dean’s heads over to him.

“I wanna know what’s up with you. You still upset about being pulled from your dream, hm?” Dean asked, arms crossed and taking a step towards Cas.

“The transition from dream back to reality has taken a toll on me, yes,” Cas replied, taking a step back. His eyes still refused to meet Dean’s.

“Well I’m _through_ with the pity party, Cas. You’re not the only one here who’s had a djinn dream. In my dream, my mom was alive, I had a wife and a home, Sammy was getting engaged. I could have had it all, and I gave it up. You wanna know _why,_ Cas? Because it wasn’t _fucking real._ And I _knew_ I had a duty to fulfil back in the _real world,_ so you know what I did? I woke up, because I knew that it would be better for the greater good,” Dean said aggressively.

“So tell me, Cas, what was so _god damn_ amazing about your dream that _you_ get to mope around for weeks on end? What was so _perfect_ about it that made you stay for months, hm? Would it have been worth it? Does saving lives not matter to you?”

Sam could barely breathe. “Dean, this is uncalled for,” he tried to interrupt.

“I don’t deserve this,” Cas spoke up, voice low. He tightened his fists which were balled up on either side of him and stared Dean directly in his eyes, the first time in weeks. “I _don’t_ deserve this. I- I have been treated like a doormat for so long. I’m not the one saving lives, _you_ are. All I do is help. I don’t _have_ to help anymore. The Apocalypse is over, my duty _is_ fulfilled. And yet, I come rushing to help at every scrape and bruise. You don’t need my help. You are both competent hunters, you have Ruby’s knife to take care of demons. Any research I help you with is something you can do on your own, but you are too _lazy_ to find it yourself.”

“Cas, what the fu-“

“I am a _shortcut_. When a hunt is dragging on for too long, or is slightly more challenging than you hoped it would be, I get called in for assistance. And when I’m done, I don’t expect even so much as a thank you, let alone an invitation to hang out. Did it ever occur to you that _maybe,_ I come running to your every text and prayer because you’re my _friends_ and I simply wish to spend time with you?” Cas rambled, more passion in his voice than the brothers have heard in months.

“Cas-“

“And when I tried to go off and hunt on my own, to actually _help_ people instead of settling for being used like some kind of resource, I get scolded like a child. And when I’m invited over to watch some movies, like the _friends_ I thought we were, it gets canceled because _you_ have something _better_ to do…” Cas’ voice cracked there at the end, and he took a deep breath. “Goodbye Dean. Goodbye Sam. I have _angel business_ to attend to.”

Gone again, without a word to let in.

Sam stared in stunned silence at the space where Cas just stood for a minute.

“Dude, what the fuck was that,” Dean exclaimed.

“Well, you heard him…”

“Yeah, but like, we don’t just _use_ him! He’s our friend! How could he think like that! We don’t treat him that way…. Do we?” Dean asked, as if he’s reevaluating his life.

“Dean…. Sometimes we do, yeah. He’s our strong angelic friend, and there’s definitely been a few times where we took advantage of that…” Sam said, choosing his wording carefully. “Especially since he’s come back from experiencing two months of a life where he genuinely felt… _appreciated.”_

Dean took a seat at the edge of his own bed, rubbing his face in his hands with a long, pained sigh.

“Dude, you have to tell me what Cas dreamt about. It’s killing me, it’s killing _him,”_ Dean begged. His voice drew quieter and more sincere. “Please, I… I don’t want him to feel unappreciated. He’s my best friend and I’ve been unknowingly fucking up our relationship, I gotta fix this.”

Sam sighed and stared down at the ground. Cas could hate him for this…

“Dean he… dreamt about us. He dreamt about you,” Sam started carefully. Dean stared holes into the side of his head, he could feel his tension.

“Yeah? And?” he pressed.

“And… we all lived in a nice little neighborhood after the Apocalypse. I went back to school, you just got a promotion for your new job, and Cas… I’ve never seen him so happy before, Dean,” Sam sighed. “He dreamt up the perfect life for us _and_ him… _together._ He dreamt he was appreciated, he dreamt he was _loved_.”

“Yeah, okay, but he _is_ loved! By us! We just, I’ve just….” Dean stuttered. “I’ve just been walking all over him lately…”

“That’s not all…” Sam said, looking up at his brother. Dean was now staring down at the floor too, regret practically radiating off of him. He looked up when Sam spoke again. “He dreamt he was… with you.”

Dean clenched his jaw. “What do you mean?”

“I mean he… was _with_ you. He said you and him were two years happily married in his dream… had a nice home together,” Sam said, sorrow in his voice. “You two were going to _adopt…”_

Dean just stared at him in silence, Sam couldn’t make out what he must be feeling.

“Was I just… some kind of sick fill-in for someone else? Could he not imagine up someone else to marry? I- I mean… my dream wife was someone I saw in a _magazine!_ He must have just thought of me ‘cause he had nobody else to think of…” Dean tried reasoning, clearly avoiding the truth.

“No, Dean. This was the real deal. He _told_ me… he’s been in love with you for years, man.”

Dean shifted in his seat, eyebrows scrunched together. “Was he _ever_ gonna tell me?”

“No… he knows you’re straight. He didn’t want it to come between you two. He knows his feelings are unrequited, but he values your friendship,” Sam explained.

Dean rubbed his face into his hands, sighing loudly. “What an idiot,” he mumbled.

“He’s been mopey because-“

“Ever since he came back, I’ve just been ordering him around. _I’ve_ been ordering him around. He must see me and….”

“Hurt, yes. He sees you and wishes he can go back home to his projection of you, but he knows it’s impossible,” Sam finished his sentence.

Dean groaned sadly into his hands, which he rubbed deep into his eyes. “I’m gonna go to bed. I’ll… try to make things right with him in the morning.”

“Tell him I told you. I don’t want him to misplace anger… He told me specifically to keep his dream a secret. He can yell at me later if he wants to,” Sam said, standing up to go to the bathroom and get ready for bed,

He hoped Dean could really make things right.


	5. Chapter 5

Hearing Sam spill the truth made Dean feel like he was going to hurl.

During Dean’s own djinn dream, he only managed to imagine the perfect world for his family. He imagined they were never hunters, he imagined that his mother never died… He imagined Sam grew up to be the man he always wanted to be, along with a beautiful fiancée.

His subconscious was more concerned with giving everyone _else_ the life they deserved, that he didn’t even factor in himself.

He subconsciously gave himself a generic wife that he never met before, he didn’t even dream that he and Sam were _friends,_ and he thought it was worth it because his brother was happy.

He didn’t even feel it was worth it to stay in his dream, since in _that_ world- his jobs as a hunter were nulled. Lives were never saved.

So the ends justified the means.

He woke up with a clear conscience.

But Cas, on the other hand, seemed to have it all figured out.

From what Sam told him, he made the _perfect_ perfect life.

He creatively imagined a universe where Dean and Sam still saved the world, but were able to retire and live the lives they always wanted. He would have no regrets on that front.

Dean had a home and a loved one, Sam was going back to school…

 _And_ Cas managed to factor in his personal wishes… of being with Dean.

Dean only pretended to sleep the night Sam told him all of this. He was up until sunrise, upset with everything. He couldn’t feel more like a major fuck-up than he did throughout that evening.

The next morning he texted Cas. He gave him some space overnight, and now he wished to talk.

There was no sign of him all day.

Sam and Dean moved out of that motel and into a new one, a few hours away. Dean caught a tip that there was a vampire on the run in the town, and it was time to get hunting.

He requested that they get separate rooms. Sam gave him a disappointed look, but Dean insisted it was so he could talk to Cas privately when he shows up.

He wouldn't go finding a woman to sleep with. He couldn’t do that to Cas again. 

He texted the angel again to let him know they were working, but didn’t request his assistance at all. He just simply wanted him to know what they were up to.

It must have been the quickest case they’ve ever had. The vampire exposed itself on the edge of the woods, just a short distance from its last victim. It was hunted down quickly and disposed of efficiently.

After Sam and Dean washed the blood off their hands and clothes, they went out for dinner. Dean couldn’t find his appetite. All he could think of all day, during every text to Cas, while chopping the head off the vampire’s shoulders, while picking blood off his body, was Cas.

He thought about how much he hurt him, about his dream, and how to word his apology. He must have re-written it in his head about forty times, at least. He can’t seem to find the words he wants to say to him.

They went back to their motel shortly after, parting ways to go to their separate rooms. Dean sighed heavily, checking his phone one last time for any sort of response from Cas.

He changed out of his jeans and jackets for something more comfortable. He is determined to sleep tonight, to make up for the lack of sleep the night before.

He brushed his teeth and slipped into bed. It wasn’t even that late, but he just felt too drained to watch TV or bother Sam or anything.

He closed his eyes and thought back a few months ago, calling Cas that day and getting no reply. He just thought he forgot to charge his phone…

He thought back to the first text that Cas didn’t reply to. The worry started to creep up on him, that maybe something was wrong. But maybe something _wasn’t_ wrong, so he didn’t text him again for another few days.

And then he texted again. And again. And that’s when he really felt like something was terribly amiss.

He and Sam agreed to track his phone, to see if something happened to him.

Every moment that they drove their way to the mineshaft on the search for Cas, Dean’s guts twisted and turned in fear.

He wasn’t sure he could handle it if Cas died.

He kept a level head the whole time, at least to the best of his ability.

Seeing his friend, a sickly gray color tied up to some posts in the tunnel, he didn’t even think before diving towards him. Luckily Sam scoped out the area to make sure the coast was clear, after Dean went darting across it…

He suggested that Sam go into Cas’ head to save him. Dean would usually volunteer, but his worries were making him irrational. And emotional. He wasn’t sure he could bear it, seeing Cas’ personal fantasy life.

He decided to stay behind and guard him instead, and watch over Sam to make sure the dream root works.

He was angry. He was furious with the djinn for taking his friend, and frustrated with himself for letting him be poisoned for so long.

He let that rage fuel his strength when the monster showed his face.

He slowed him down with a shotgun blast to the legs and head, and killed him with a finishing blow to the heart with a silver knife dipped in lamb’s blood. It was over.

He turned to the sleeping forms behind him, watching them closely. Mostly watching Cas.

After what felt like an eon, Dean noticed a tear slip down Cas’ face. He was crying in his dream.

Dean never saw Cas cry, ever. He reached out a delicate finger to wipe the tear away, whispering out to him. “I’m so sorry. I know it will be rough… but you gotta come back to us, man. You gotta come back to me.”

He took Cas’ hands in his, gently rubbing his fingers across the tops of Cas’. He hoped the gesture would come as some kind of comfort to him, even though he was dreaming.

He dropped them when Sam stirred to life, though he was sure that he didn’t catch him doing it.

After, Cas joined him. He breathed a sigh of relief, his friend is _back._

He was joyous.

And then, he let his fear take hold.

He was worried _sick_ about Cas. He questioned him once they were in the Impala. He pushed and prodded for answers, and Cas only just awoke for the first time in what could have been two months.

He pushed too hard.

And then he had the nerve to try to return to life as normal, when Cas clearly required some more TLC. He may have looked fine, yes. He could stand on two feet and the color returned to his skin, but the damage was deeper than that and Dean couldn’t see it.

He kept calling up Cas, asking for help on new hunts. He did it because he _knew_ he would come… he thought that was the only way to get him to stay with them.

Because he’s an angel, right? Surely he must have important angel duties to take care of every day.

The Apocalypse is over. It has been over for a few years. Cas has no obligation to hang around them anymore. He helped them save the world and now he can go and do other things.

But Dean doesn’t consider Cas like some kind of holy business partner, he considers him his best friend. He never bothered to invite Cas over to just _hang out_ because he just assumed he wouldn’t want to- because why would he want to do something so petty like watch movies when he could be doing important angel things?

So Dean thought that Cas would come if he added an element of danger to it. If he said they needed help on a hunt, Cas would visit to assist. If he needed some research done, he could talk to him for a while…

Sure, it’s helpful having Cas around for hunt-related things, but Dean would pester him for much more selfish reasons.

He thought that Cas would leave them and forget about them if Dean didn’t give him a reason to visit.

Dean had no idea he was pushing him away, _hurting_ him, making him feel unappreciated…

God, if only he could turn back time.

If only Cas would text him back. If only he would visit just one more time, even if it’s just so Dean knows he’s okay…

Dean lay there quietly, trying to let sleep overcome him, but he’s starting to think he’s going to be running two days straight without rest.

His heart began to race as he felt a dip on the corner of his bed. He opened his eyes to look down at whatever caused it.

Cas is sitting quietly at the end of the mattress. He blinked at him when he realized Dean was awake.

“I thought you were sleeping,” he said quietly.

“I thought you weren’t gonna talk to me again,” Dean said, sitting up to face him properly.

“I wasn’t, not for a few days at least,” Cas said, turning towards Dean. “But you kept texting me and I… had to make sure you and Sam were ok. I still consider you my friends.”

“We consider you our friend too, Cas,” Dean murmured. “I’m sorry… for how I’ve been treating you. To be honest, I… thought that was the only way you would hang with us.”

“All you had to do was ask,” Cas said sadly.

“I always thought you had, you know, ‘angel business’ that you’d rather be doing…”

Cas stared at him with a pensive look. “What business? I have barely shown my face back in heaven ever since I disobeyed. I’ve mostly been spending my time traveling the earth. Occasionally I would try to help people.”

Dean swallowed. _Oh._

“So um… Sam told me about your dream,” Dean admitted, waiting for a response.

“O- oh… I see,” Cas said, looking down at his hands. Dean wished he could just grab his face and _make_ him look at him, but he didn’t.

“I… thought you knew everything about me,” Dean said, scooting closer.

“What do you mean?”

“Well, can’t you see inside my head and stuff?” Dean asked, confused.

“I’ve never looked inside your head, Dean. I only know as much as you wish to share with me,” Cas said, growing his own confusion.

“Cas I’m not… what you think I am,” Dean said, with a little bit of an amazed chuckle. “I’ve never told anyone, not even Sam. But I- I’m bi. Bisexual.”

Cas just blinked at him.

“That means I-“

“I know what it means, Dean,” Cas said, hands fiddling with each other in his lap. “But why are you… telling me this…”

“ _Because_ , you big dummy, you could have told me your feelings for me,” Dean said, a lump in his throat, “and I would have told you that they’re mutual.”

Cas straightened his back a little, eyes staring straight into Dean’s. His lips parted, as if he is about to say something but can’t get the words out.

“I’m not just _saying_ that, Cas. You… amaze me. You worry me, and that’s why I blow up at you… but you make me the happiest,” Dean said, voice shaking. He reached towards Cas’ hands to hold again, this time while he’s awake. He squeezed them gently and let out a nervous chuckle, he felt so _vulnerable_ , laying his emotions out on the table like this, something he tries to avoid doing at all costs. “It’s been a long time since I’ve confessed to someone like this… a _long_ time…”

Cas breathed in and out slowly, and Dean could see the shine in his eyes from wetness. Poor thing, Cas never cried once in his life and now Dean is the source of all these tears. “What does this mean for us?” he asked quietly.

“It means… we can try being together, if you want,” Dean suggested, hopes high. “I can’t promise it will be just like your dream. But, it will be _real_ …”

Cas looked at him like a child who so desperately needed a hug, so Dean took the initiative. He wrapped both arms over Cas’, holding him as close as he could, resting his chin on the angel’s shoulder. He felt Cas’ tentative hands rub up his back, hugging him like he’s been dreaming of this moment- _literally._

“We’ll take it as slow or fast as you want to, Cas. You deserve it,” Dean murmured into Cas’ ear, placing a little kiss on his cheek, hoping he wasn’t overstepping his boundaries. He felt Cas take a little sharp intake of breath at the touch, and Dean smiled.

“I would love to, Dean,” Cas agreed. Dean felt his heart swell.

They pulled apart and looked at each other, Dean noticed Cas’ face was wet with tears again. “I hope this time these are happy tears,” he said, reaching a hand up to wipe them off again.

“They are,” Cas confirmed, smiling a gentle, beautiful little smile that Dean couldn’t help but match.

“I’m glad,” Dean chuckled. He scooted back to his end of the bed. “Um, you can… stay if you want. I haven’t slept at all since our fight and I’m exhausted.”

“I’ll watch over you,” Cas suggested, staying where he sat.

“I-I mean… you can, um, come _here_ if you want,” Dean said. “I don’t wanna _do_ anything, but just… only if you want to…”

He tried so hard to suggest _cuddling_ without actually saying the word, but Cas seemed to understand. Dean held his breath as Cas stood, stripping himself of his trench coat and suit jacket and neatly folded them over a chair off to the side. He kicked off his shoes and hesitantly joined Dean under the blankets.

Dean smiled and reached towards him, undoing his tie and chucking it over to the pile of clothes.

“Like this?” Cas asked quietly.

“However you want, Cas… I’ve been a jerk to you,” Dean said, guilt in his voice. “Tell me what _you_ want to do.”

Cas swallowed, inching closer to Dean. He gently pushed his shoulder over so he would lay flat on his back, and Dean obliged. The angel leaned his head on Dean’s collarbone, laying a hand across his chest.

“Is this okay?” Cas whispered.

“It’s perfect,” Dean said, wrapping his arm around Cas’ back and lightly pet up and down.

Cas let out a long breath, drawing small circles on Dean’s chest. “Goodnight, Dean.”

“Goodnight, Cas.”

Dean continued to rub Cas’ back, turning his head to smell the earthly scents that naturally tinge his hair.

The room was quiet, as it should be. Dean felt warm, he felt comfortable. He felt safe and secure, like everything was _right_ again _._

In the morning, Dean will have to tell Sam the news, but for now he could rest easy.

Cas continued to trace his hand along Dean’s skin, lulling the hunter to unconsciousness. His hand dragging up and down Cas’ back slowed to a stop as he slipped into the most refreshing sleep he’s had in months.


	6. Chapter 6

Sam woke late the next day, without Dean to wake him up with his antics. He looked around the room for him, briefly forgetting that they decided to sleep in separate rooms during this hunt, in case Cas showed up.

He figured that he never showed up, given the fact that he didn’t make an appearance all day.

So Sam got up, got dressed, brushed his teeth, and got ready for the day. They have nowhere to be until they figure out their next hunt, so maybe they would spend another night at the motel while they scoured the internet for a new job.

He was about to boot up his laptop when a knock came to his door. “S’open,” he called out, assuming it was just Dean.

He listened to a pair of footsteps enter his room, along with another pair trailing after it. He looked up from his computer screen to see Dean and Cas filing in.

“Oh hey, Cas,” Sam greeted, genuinely surprised to see him. “So…? Did you to make up?”

Sam fixed his eyes on the two of them, waiting with bated breath to see who talks first.

“Yeah, we did,” Dean said, finally. He swung his hands a bit at his sides, shifting his weight between his two feet. He seemed nervous about something. “And we’ve got something to share with you.”

Sam tilted his laptop closed and moved it off to the side. “I’m listening.”

Dean inhaled deeply and breathed out, “Cas and I are… _together_ now.”

Sam’s eyebrows pushed upwards in surprise as he watched his brother take Cas’ hand in his, to further prove his statement.

“Wow, I’m happy for you,” he said, but he could feel his blood beginning to boil.

_There’s no way._

_Dean’s gone too far._

“I am… very happy,” Cas said, his smile stretching across his face in that sort of _Cas_ way that it does. Sam was sure he was happy, he _must_ be. But something is wrong here, Sam is _convinced._

“I’m sure you are,” Sam said, faking a smile the best he could. Cas didn’t seem to notice, he seemed so blissful and full of love.

“Hey, Cas? Can I talk to Dean alone for a minute, please?” Sam said, clearing his throat.

“Oh, of course,” Cas said, sad to tear his hand away from Dean’s. “I will talk to you again soon.”

And with that, he disappeared into the air.

Dean sighed, watching him go. “So what’s up?” he asked, as if he was completely unaware of what he was _doing._

Sam felt like he could explode. He stood up to get on a more eye-level with him, taking a step forward. The fake smile was wiped from his face.

“What are you doing?” he demanded.

“What do you mean? I’m dating Cas, that’s what I’m doing,” Dean said, taking an offended step backwards. “I thought you’d be happy for u-“

“That’s _not_ what I meant,” Sam interrupted. “This is a new low for you, playing with your friend’s emotions like that.”

“ _What?”_

“Cas _loves_ you. He really, truly _loves_ you, and you’re just… doing this to make him feel better!” Sam accused.

“Woah, woah, no! I would never- Sam, my feelings for him are real _too_ ,” Dean defended. “I swear on my life. I swear on _everything_.”

Sam stared at him, searching for the lies in his eyes… but he found none. “But- all I’ve ever seen you with was women. You’re..?”

“Bi. I’m Bi, Sammy. I never told you…” Dean confessed, sitting down at the edge of the bed.

Sam’s demeanor softened, believing his brother. “Why not?”

“I dunno. I always meant to, I just… with all the hunting, with the whole finding-Dad thing, the entire you-having-visions debacle… the _Apocalypse…_ I just always had bigger fish to fry,” Dean sighed. “I’ve uh… _felt things_ for Cas for a while now.”

Sam ran his fingers through his hair, taking in the truths. “In that case… I really am happy for you guys,” he said. Dean smiled, clearly elated to get approval from his brother. “But I swear, if you break his heart…”

“I won’t. I won’t try to, anyway,” Dean insisted. “We’re gonna take things slow. We will go on small dates here and there, and I promise we will always leave a sock on the door.”

“Gross, you better!” Sam chuckled.

Sam and Dean later went to brunch at a diner down the street, Cas joined them mid-meal after Sam texted him, asking him to hang out with them for the day.

They all spent the afternoon looking through the town newspapers, searching online, and keeping an ear out for new hunting opportunities.

Dean discovered a Star Trek marathon on one of the tv channels while they brought in Chinese take-out for dinner, making up for their lack of movies the night before. Sam let them lean against each other like lovebirds while he took the far, far end of the bed.

It was three more days until Dean and Cas went out on their first solo date together, at a restaurant where Cas let Dean eat the food that he didn’t need.

It was four more weeks until Dean put a sock on their motel room door, leaving Sam to fend for himself for the night.

It was six more months until their fifth movie date, Sam teasing them before they left for being such teenagers.

It was two more years until their wedding, a private little thing where Sam proudly stood as their shared Best Man, right between the two of them.


End file.
